Queen Hillary Faces the California Primary

Queen Hillary Faces the California Primary:
Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
Who’ll be President of them all?
It must be me, I say it must!
For who but Hillary can Wall Street trust?
You must rig all those voting machines
To prevent democracy from going to extremes.
For I must guide, control and shape it
With greater wisdom than any voters’ edict.
I’ve got the spinsters all, and childless biddies,
And the scared suburban mommies with all their kiddies.
Thank God for those old trusting Blacks,
With Scarlett O’Hara’s luck, they have my back.
On their sacrifices I can always call,
So endearing seeing them on their swords fall.
It’s great to know I have my people
Ready to stay behind and raise my steeple.
For I am a Goddess and this is my Church,
To lead an American incremental rightward lurch.
Hail!, hail!, obey and revere!,
For I am Hillary and this is my year!
But that white-haired man is such a problem,
Waking up the nation to all the swag I’ve been grabbin’.
And how annoying those damned Millennials
Who can’t see past their fairness ideals,
Who think being shackled to their school debts
Gives them excuse to question Wall Street’s bets.
Why don’t they just join the military?
I’ll see they get enough comes time for them to bury.
If only they could see obeying me
Will let then share in my glorious history.
The first American woman President
Able to make privatizing Social Security permanent.
Honestly, with America I’m so disgusted
That I’m not more widely loved and trusted.
Trump’s a fool, I’ll beat him, I hope,
Or else America is really on dope.
Trump’s a sexist, but Bernie’s worse
Convincing young women pay imbalance he’ll reverse.
The majority commits Lèse-majesté
Against their natural given leader: Hillary!
Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
Who’ll be President of them all?
Tell me now and tell me quick
Or I’ll hit you with my girl-flogging Billy stick!
Tell me now and tell me right
Or my hissy fit will be a dreadful fright!
And the Mirror replied:
Oh great Queen!, on June 7 you’ll receive my answer,
Whether for America it’s bright future or disaster.

One thought on “Queen Hillary Faces the California Primary

  1. Republicans for Bernie(?!)

    Want to be young (possibly again) and intelligent (maybe finally)? VOTE FOR BERNIE! Don’t take my word for it, that’s what “Gordon Gekko” (a.k.a. “greed is good” in the movies) says. The alternative is to be (possibly prematurely)…well, I’ll let Ascher Edelman tell you. Hey there all my REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, there is still time for you to switch your CA voter registration to Democrat or No Party Preferred (May 23, voter registration deadline, you must be a registered Democrat or No Party Preferred [NPP] to vote for Bernie on June 7; also May 31 is the deadline to request a Democratic ballot for NPP and vote-by-mail people), and then you can vote for Bernie and AGAINST HILLARY! Then, if Bernie gets the Democratic nomination (he’ll need 65.4% or more of the pledged delegates/primaries still up for grabs to gain a pledged majority, and then win the brokered convention floor fight in July) you can either vote for Bernie in November, or Trump. Either way, you would have helped ensure Hillary is out of the race! We’re in this together! But, my REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, if you sit grumpily out and let Hillary cheat her way past Bernie, then your boy Trump will get edged out in November and you’ll have to live under Queen Malificent as President. If that isn’t enough, then think about this: YOU’LL MAKE MORE MONEY WITH BERNIE AS PRESIDENT! How can any true-red-meat Republican pass that up? Tell ’em Asher!

    Wall Street expert Asher B. Edelman explains why he supports Bernie Sanders
    [Asher Edelman was the model for “Gordon Gekko” = “greed is good” movie]

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