For Men: How To Attract Women

Have lots of money
— (and spend it on her).
Know how to dance.
Look good.
Smell good.
Own a restaurant.
Cook
— (very well).
Listen forever.
Wait forever
— (the prime directive).
Don’t make her wait.
Don’t interrupt.
You always like the dress and haircut.
Guess what she wants
— (and don’t be wrong).
Don’t notice
— (what you’re not supposed to).
Give compliments
— (that sound genuine every time).
Don’t criticize.
Accept criticism graciously.
Don’t look at other women.
Don’t do anything with other women.
Be nice to her mother.
Be nice to her children
— (and pay for them).
Tolerate her girlfriends.
Do housekeeping
— (or have it done).
Don’t make her jealous
— (by paying attention to your car).
Don’t go out with the boys.
Don’t drink more than she does.
Don’t smoke more than she does.
Eat what she tells you
— (on her mealtimes).
Watch her movies.
Don’t make her watch your movies.
Don’t watch sports
— (unless she does).
Freedom is frightening:
don’t be a husband off leash.
Remember:
she needs a safe man to say no to.
— Or —
don’t worry about attracting women.

6 December 2016